Cliff Clavin Com

2011-09-11 – 0:48 AM

2011-09-11 – 00:45 AM

just as Obama was America’s first black president,
Mitt Romney could potentially be America’s first
really, really white president
2011-06-16 – 6:25 pm

did you know that @Zach Braff‘s movie High Cost Of Living
was inspired by Maggie going through the cash register
in the Simpsons opening?
2011-05-14 – 9:31 AM

Little known fact; the biggest difference between
humans and chimpanzees is dental hygiene!
2011-04-22 – 13:07 PM

Did you know that Wookie is Ewok with the syllables reversed
and C3PO is a dyslexic version of R2D2?
2011-04-12 – 10:34 PM

Did you know that scientists are considering downgrading
Uranus’s planet status in the hope of
limiting naughty jokes in the public?
12:05 PM – 2011-03-28

did you know that Charlie Sheen is secretly making a documentary
which will be titled “How Crazy Can a Star Get Before He Gets Too Crazy”?
2011-02-26 – 10:52 am

did you know that scientists estimate that by 2013
there will be more gingers than blondes in most Western countries?
2011-02-17 – 11:57 am

did you know that Mr & Mrs Smith was originally going to be a
documentary about The Smiths but Angelina Jolie refused to play Morrissey?
2011-01-17 – 12:38 PM

did you know that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are twins
seperated at birth and are now in a platonic relationship,
to make up for lost family time?
11:47 AM Dec 25th

did you know that the new Michael Jackson album
has been leaked from beyond the grave by WikiLeaks?
2010-12-09 – 7:19 PM

Did you know that the phrase
“To the victor go the spoils”
was coined by Victor Hugo in 1857?
2010-11-28 – 10:09 AM

did you know that most religions would be more credible if
their creation stories included Ewoks?
2010-11-09 – 8:34 PM

did you know that while the knee bone IS connected
to the thigh bone, surprisingly in most humans
the thigh bone is NOT connected to the hip bone?
2010-10-26 – 9:56 PM

did you know that the Jersey Shore cast are now
so rich that The Situation is considering buying
The Situation Room from CNN
just to hang out in? 
2010-10-15 – 9:23 AM

did you know that Radiohead wrote the song
“Talk Show Host” with
Craig Ferguson in mind?
2010-10-06 – 6:19 PM

did you know that in ancient Rome
they served spaghetti in one long strand?
2010-10-02 – 10:28 AM

did you know that slugs are notoriously slow everywhere but in the bedroom?
Ironically most male slugs suffer from premature ejaculation.
2010-09-16 – 9:19 AM

did you know that Wilmer Valderrama has lost most
of his earnings from That 70s Show on cockfights?
Look out for him on Dancing With The Stars soon
2010-09-06 – 9:14 PM

did you know that in many muslim countries
carrots, bananas and cucumbers are banned
because they are considered too phallic?
2010-08-29 – 8:14 PM

Did you know that Howard Stern and Jessica Simpson
buy their hair from the same place?
They use the same type too, only the color is different.
2010-08-28 – 9:43 PM

did you know that fever is mostly a state of mind
and is therefore best treated with meditation and not medication?
2010-08-25 – 10:46 PM

did you know that when cannibals smoke cannabis
they get hungry for human flesh?
2010-08-15 – 10:16 PM

did you know that Pottery Barn are hiring
extra lawyers to deal with all the medical marijuana stores
calling themselves Pot Barn?
2010-08-11 – 8:18 AM

did you know that George Lucas wanted Morgan Freeman to
be the voice of Darth Vader, but scheduling conflicts got in the way?
2010-08-09 – 7:49 PM

did you know that in the leaked #Lost epilogue “The New Man In Charge”
it is revealed that Justin Bieber now guards the island? 
2010-08-08 – 10:19 AM

did you know that NBC wants to hire Stephen Merchant
to replace Steve Carell who is leaving after this season of the Office?
2010-08-06 – 8:22 AM

did you know that ancient Egypt had its own papyrus-based version of twitter
in which they were only allowed to use 140 hieroglyphs or less?
2010-08-04 – 12:25 PM

did you know that crocodiles are more closely related
to humans than to alligators? And Vice versa.
2010-08-03 – 8:06 AM

Did you know that the “double rainbow” guy from youtube
is actually an astronomer? You wouldn’t think so, but it’s true.
2010-07-22 – 9:01 PM

did you know that the Mario Bros. aren’t really brothers?
It’s just a marketing ploy from Nintendo. 
2010-07-18 – 10:36 PM

did you know that ants can carry 50 times
their own weight, when they’re drunk? 
l2010-07-17 – 8:52 PM

did you know that flamingos are surprisingly
good at dancing the flamenco? 
2010-07-14 – 10:04 PM

did you know that Hitler’s moustache
was secretly preserved and is on display in a museum
in an underground bunker in Buenos Aires? 
2010-07-13 – 10:06 PM

I can’t wait to see Knight And Day,
the unlikely lovestory between Suge Knight and Doris Day. 
2010-07-12 – 7:47 PM

#IMayBeBiasedBut I think Prince is right.
The internet is over. Time to stop emailing
and start using the trusty old postal service again. 
2010-06-10 – 10:01 PM

did you know that if evolution was true,
we’d have three-headed monkeys instead of humans?
2010-07-09 – 2:45 PM

did you know that salamanders can not only grow back a lost tail
but they can also spontaneously grow a third nipple?
2010-07-05 – 6:10 PM

#showsweneedback
I may be biased but… Cheers.
I miss having a documentary crew in the bar.
2010-06-24 – 5:11 PM

I wish people would stop confusing me with Calvin Klein.
That’s the last time I pose for the postal service
“hot mailmen” calendar.. 
2010-06-23 – 10:02 PM

the one thing Wimbledon lacks? Vuvuzelas.  ‘
2010-06-23 – 8:19 PM

People still say I talk too much.
But with only 140 characters allowed how can that possibly be true?!
2010-06-22 – 8:29 PM

#honestyhour
Every hour is honesty hour when you spend your life in a bar
2010-06-22 – 8:03 PM

In some ways Indiana Jones could be considered a
quintessential mailman. You know delivering artifacts and such.
I’m a lot like Indy really 
2010-06-22 – 7:54 PM

Toy Story 3 sucked. Toy Story 3 really is a bad movie. Dont go see Toy Story 3.
(This tweet is a paid promotion by the producers of Shrek 4)
2010-06-22 – 7:44 PM

think I’m going to call in sick tomorrow. Delivering
the entire twitter back catalogue to Library of Congress
really took its toll on my back 
2010-06-22 – 6:49 PM

did you know that anteaters don’t really like ants,
they’re just very insecure animals
who don’t like to disappoint humans?
2010-06-22 – 3:16 PM

Happy father’s day! I will be celebrating with my mother.
It’s… a thing we do. Look, I don’t want to talk about it, ok?
2010-06-20 – 10:46 PM

did you know that “the magic of kinect”
will be priced at 299 mana points? 
2010-06-15 – 1:50 PM

did you know that Radiohead named their band
after a semi-pornographic 80s song by ZZ Top?
Chorus went “radio head is better than road head”
2010-06-14 – 8:07 PM

“my twat is over capacity” 
#ThingsTwitterWhoresMightSay
about 24 hours ago

did you know that when whales suffer from bad breath
their blowholes smell fishy?
12:26 PM Jun 1

my lovelife is a lot like soccer,
lots of people running around in a panic while nobody ever scores.
And there’s only one ball. 
4:25 PM Jun 11th

my prediction for the #worldcup :
Justin Bieber will win it, beating Coca Cola 3-1 in the final.
2:14 PM Jun 11th

How the hell did Kevin Costner get a patent
on technology that siphons oil from water,
when I have been fighting for years to get a patent
on my water-to-wine tech!?
2010-06-10 – 8:26 PM

did you know that former UN Secretary-General
Boutros Boutros-Ghali’s name is surprisingly
not an anagram of anything dirty?
2010-06-07 – 10:45 PM

did you know that government scientists are
trying to breed a mix of Kardashians and
Baldwins to create a new race of supercelebrities? 
2010-06-04 – 9:43 PM

#4wordsbeforedeath
“omg wtf lol brb”
2010-06-01 – 11:19 PM

@Evie_Lilly did you remember to push
the button every 108 minutes?
Otherwise Twitter explodes.
2010-06-02 – 10:09 PM 

did you know that @Jeri Ryan insisted on
having 50% of her wages for Star Trek
Voyager paid in chocolate?
2010-05-31 – 8:21 PM

breaking future news:
Supreme Court Justice Bieber speaks out
against heterosexual marriage.
2010-05-26 – 9:36 PM

did you know that Koala bears are the noisiest
lovemakers in the animal kingdom?
2010-05-25 – 12:38 PM

did you know that tonight’s Lost finale
has been extended and will now run
for 7½ hours without commercial breaks?
2010-05-23 – 7:53 PM

crisis resolved: Tibet will allow China to remain
under independent government in exchange
for a ban on all free speech on the net
2010-05-22 – 9:28 PM

Latest on the Tibet/China conflict: peace talks currently
underway. It is hoped that Tibet will accept
the unconditional surrender of China. 
2010-05-21 – 9:04 PM

breaking news: Tibet just invaded China.
Check CNN for more information and further
updates as the story develops.
2010-05-20 – 10:25 PM

even Justin Bieber can’t escape the fact that
sooner or later the algorythm is gonna get you.
2010-05-17 – 8:23 PM

did you know that the original legends of Robin Hood
had him wearing a chain coif, but that was
considered too metrosexual for the time period? 
2010-05-13 – 9:08 PM

did you know that the new UK prime minister
David Cameron is the older brother of former
Growing Pains star Kirk Cameron? #ukelection
2010-05-11 – 11:22 PM

did you know that the Greek government
is planning to cover its deficit by introducing
a tax on twitter? 1 drachma per tweet,
5 per retweet.
2010-05-10 – 10:44 PM

please ioin me in congatulating the new UK Prime Minister:
Gillian Duffy from Rochdale.
2010-05-06 – 6:36 PM

did you know that Happy Town was originally
pitched to the network as MargueritaVille
with a VERY different plot?
2010-05-05 – 9:13 PM

May the 4th be with you and happy Star Wars day
as we remember and cherish Ronald Reagan,
the true Boba Fett of politics.
2010-05-04 – 1:52 PM

as horrible as the great oil spill is,
this is clear proof that solar power is
too dangerous. Imagine a solar spill?
We would all be burnt toast. 
2010-05-03 – 9:34 PM

did you know that Ernest Hemingway had several
pet lemmings and he even built them
a little house and called it “Lemmingway”?
2010-04-30 – 9:52 PM

breaking news: Craig Ferguson named new head of NBC.
Abolishes all talk shows. Jay Leno moves to ABC,
will host Americas Funniest homeVideos.
2010-04-29 – 10:11 PM

did you know that ABC might air next season of
Dancing With The Stars in 3D, depending on
whether they can get Pamela Anderson to return or not?
2010-04-27 – 3:53 PM

if you want to change the world,
start with the man in the mirror.
BOB from Twin Peaks.
#clavininspirational
2010-04-26 – 10:27 PM

did you know that despite their inability to fly
penguins are the most arrogant of birds?
2010-04-24 – 11:21 PM

Happy Earth Day. Let’s hope there is one next year too.
An Earth, I mean.
2010-04-22 – 10:26 PM

did you know that this year American Idol
has given back all the talent and
excitement for #IdolGivesBack?
2010-04-21 – 10:43 PM

did you know that many stoners believe
there are 420 days in a year?
2010-04-20 – 10:54 PM

did you know that The Smiths are planning a
secret reunion tour under the alias The Smurfs?
2010-04-19 – 10:40 PM

did you know that the volcanic ash cloud over
Europe was actually released by the railway
industry in an effort to stop people from flying? 
2010-04-17 – 4:46 PM

did you know that due to the legendary power of
Walt Disney, ex-members of the Mickey Mouse Club
do not have to file their income taxes? 
2010-04-15 – 9:35 PM

*SPOILER ALERT* did you know that David Bowie
will guest star on the next episode of Glee?
In a surprising twist, his character will be mute 
2010-04-14 – 19:39 PM

did you know that if you cook pancakes
in a pot instead of a pan you can legally add
marijuana to the recipe and sell them as “pot cakes”?
2010-04-13 – 9:05 PM

did you know that the new @ConanOBrien show
on TBS will feature a house band consisting of
Justin Bieber, @ladygaga and Foo Fighters?
2010-04-12 – 11:11 PM

did you know that Kevin Federline is
planning to launch his own line of
Fedoras, the FedoraLine?
2010-04-11 – 9:23 PM

did you know that JK Rowling is planning
“Harry Potter: The Next Generation”,
wherein a bunch of kids will enroll in magic school on Mars?
2010-04-19 – 9:31 PM

Next on Fox: So You Think You Can Prance.
Starring Prance Armstrong and Tony Pranza.
2010-04-09 – 9:57 PM

did you know that like Valentine’s Day
was created by greeting card manufacturers,
Easter was created by the Egg Council of America? 
2010-04-04 – 9:42 PM

if you see Zombie Jesus then you know
the apocalypse is coming.
It’s not blasphemy if it’s truth.
2010-04-04 – 9:37 PM

did you know that the robot @JimCarrey
is pretending to be a real human
and will eventually try to take over Twitter,
then the world?  
2010-04-02 – 5:43 PM

did you know that I’m not going to
make an #AprilFools prank,
because I don’t want people to distrust my tweets?
2010-04-01 – 7:50 PM

Catherine Zeta-Jones added “Zeta” to her
name after consulting a crazy numerologist.
Her full name is now Catherine Yoink Zeta-Joness III.
2010-03-31 – 9:01 PM

#WhatWouldMontyPythonDo?
http://j.mp/d2IR8S
putting animals on top of other animals.
2010-03-25 – 8:06 PM

did you know that the bookies’ favorite to win
this year’s #AmericanIdol is… Adam Lambert?!
2010-03-24 – 10:20 PM

did you know that fictional characters
can’t get #verified by Twitter?
I am outraged by the social injustice!
2010-03-23 – 10:59 PM

did you know that the cast of the
next Dancing With The Stars #DWTS
will be made up entirely of former
US presidential candidates? And
only some of them in drag?
2010-03-23 – 10:53 AM

if “gravity” actually existed, birds would slowly
devolve back into fish. That is, if there was such
a thing as “evolution” of course.
2010-03-22 – 8:32 PM

did you know that it’s World Water Day?
RT @charitywater A billion people don’t have
clean water. A million do, thanks to donors
http://bit.ly/9GrR4j
2010-03-22 – 4:16 PM

did you know that #HealthCare won’t save
you from the zombie apocalypse?
2010-03-22 12:45 PM

did you know that Shia LaBeouf was originally
cast as a nazi in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom
of the Crystal Skull but turned down that part
because he was afraid people would dislike him?
2010-03-20 2:32 PM

did you know that the secret to a good
life is comfortable shoes?
2010-03-19 1:54 PM

I can’t believe it’s not Buddha
2010-03-18 10:18 PM

did you know that Tim Burton briefly
considered the title “Alice In Wonderpants”
for his retelling of the classic Lewis Carroll tale?
2010-03-17 8:00 PM

did you know that David Prowse auditioned for
the part of Yoda’s voice but was deemed too nasal
and ended up playing Darth Vader’s body instead?
2010-03-16 5:12 PM

did you know that Victoria Beckham’s soccer
career was less succesful than David Beckham’s
modeling career but more succesful than his singing career?
2010-03-15 9:02 PM

Sometimes when I sneeze I am afraid
that my eyes will pop out of their sockets
2010-03-15 – 6:55 PM

did you know that if you don’t change
your clock tonight, your life will be a lot
more interesting for a while? #daylightsavings
2010-03-14 – 10:38 AM

Did you know that people
wearing Fedoras are fedorable?
2010-03-13 – 4:19 PM

did you know that despite all the
evidence to the contrary, most humans
are still basically good?
2010-03-13 – 1:34 PM

did you know that brussel sprouts were
invented by Belgian scientists
during World War 2 as a chemical
weapon against the Germans?
2010-03-13 – 9:44 AM in reply to AdrianneCurry

did you know that the #Eurovision song
contest has a lesser known companion,
the Eurohearing film contest?
2010-03-12 – 10:51 PM

did you know that #FollowFriday has
become so popular that Twitter is
considering just having everybody
follow everybody automatically?
2010-03-12 – 6:26 PM

did you know that Zach Galifianakis
has named his own beard, but the
name is so long that I can’t
fit it into a twitter message?
2010-03-10 – 7:45 PM

did you know that @PerezHilton isn’t really
gay, he just pretends to be so he doesn’t
have to sleep with his wife
the beautiful @ParisHilton
2010-03-10 – 7:42 PM

did you know that Ubisoft’s new anti-piracy DRM
system is designed to keep anyone owning a
computer from playing their games?
2010-03-10 – 6:22 PM

did you know that Spongebob Squarepants
was originally supposed to be called
Spongedude Triangleshorts, but it was deemed
too confusing for the stoners?
2010-03-10 – 9:01 AM

did you know that Kellog’s has invented
a type of cornflakes that doesn’t go soggy
in milk, but they dare not unleash
it on the general public?
2010-03-09 – 6:41 PM

did you know that the #bigbangtheory TV show
has to pay royalties to no less than 6 porn studios
and 1 science faculty for use of the title?
2010-03-08 – 9:40 PM

did you know that the #Oscar would have
gone to That Transformers Movie if it
hadn’t been for the rampant
doping allegations against it?
2010-03-08 – 9:27 PM

did you know that the upcoming finale
of #Lost will explain all the show’s mysteries
as well as all unresolved
questions left from Twin Peaks?
2010-03-07 – 8:44 AM

did you know that the #Oscars are rigged… to explode?
2010-03-07 – 10:15 PM

did you know that Albuquerque was
founded by immigrant
Mayan Quetzalcoatl worshippers?
2010-03-06 – 10:18 PM

did you know that exercise is good
for the body and soul, but not so much
for your neighbours?
2010-03-04 – 10:16 AM

did you know that tiger sharks have three
rows of razor sharp teeth, making them
the world’s most excessively armed herbivores?
2010-03-03 – 10:33 PM

did you know that the band Gorillaz
was put together by the same man
who created The Monkees?
2010-03-02 – 12:08 PM

did you know that certain types of sewer
rats can be trained to knit but not to sew?
2010-03-01 – 2:52 PM

did you know that the unresolved series finale of
My Name Is Earl was meant to be explained by
the deaths of three major characters?
2010-02-28 – 6:28 PM

did you know that in the unaired pilot of Miami Vice
Crockett was the black one and Tubbs the white one?
2010-02-28 – 4:11 PM

did you know that the Black Eyed Peas were
less succesful during their first years under
their original name the Black Eyed Beans?
2010-02-28 – 3:10 PM

did you know that the actor John Cusack
is not related to the fictional character
Daniel Farady from Lost?
2010-02-28 – 8:41 AM

did you know that while
hockey is not considered “a sport of kings”
it is still quite popular with royalty around the world?
2010-02-27 – 5:16 PM

did you know that Albert Einstein was once
offered the presidency of Israel?
2010-02-27 – 5:04 PM

did you know that
weekends were originally placed at the
beginning of a week, but were changed
because people got confused?
2010-02-27 – 5:03 PM in reply to DENISE_RICHARDS

did you know that fresh fruit and
pointy sticks are both considered lethal
weapons in UK comedy history?
2010-02-27 – 4:11 PM

did you know that sleeplaughing is a serious medical
condition according to some doctors?
2010-02-27 – 4:09 PM in reply to amandabynes

did you know that drunk bees are the
world’s foremost source of natural Baileys?
2010-02-27 – 12:23 PM

did you know that hardboiled eggs are
actually quite soft compared to for example
cement or coconuts?
2010-02-27 – 9:48 AM

did you know that despite the phrase
“green with envy”, YELLOW bananas
are actually jealous of the GREEN ones?
2010-02-27 – 8:52 AM

did you know that The Smurfs were
originally created as a veiled protest
against capitalism in Belgium?
2010-02-27 – 8:36 AM

did you know that Will Smith coined the
phrase “gettin jiggy wit it” in the late sixties
but kept it a secret until the world was ready for it?
2010-02-27 – 8:08 AM

did you know that the last 3 prime ministers
of Denmark all had the surname Rasmussen?
Poul Nyrup, Anders Fogh and Lars Løkke. No relations.
2010-02-27 – 6:57 AM

Did you know that bees communicate
through various forms of dancing,
such as hiphop, latin and breakdancing?
2010-02-27 – 6:52 AM

Did you know that the velocity of an unladen
swallow is a very interesting subject?
Unfortunately 140 characters isn’t enough to go into it.
2010-02-27 – 6:47 AM

Ah Twitter, where everyboy knows your username!
2010-02-27 – 6:43 AM